Solution to Economic Woes: Delicious Cupcakes

My ladyfriend has made cupcakes twice in the last week, and I’m using them as a coping mechanism. So far, so good. Who knew coping could be so tasty?

Anyway, I can tell you the job search has gone essentially nowhere. Six resumes have been sent out in the past seven days; one garnered a thanks-but-we’re-not-hiring response; one got an automated thanks-but-don’t-even-try-contacting-us-further email; and the remaining four have been met with absolute silence. On Thursday I’m supposed to talk on the phone with someone from a huge game company in Montreal. I’m open to hearing what she has to say but right now I’m really not keen on moving there. There may be a bit of hope toward the end of March or beginning of April, as the big game companies will be in their new fiscal years, which means new money for new projects. In theory, anyway. If my 31st birthday rolls around and I haven’t found a new job, I will seriously consider going back to school to learn some new skills and make myself employable in a more secure line of work.

After ten days, my Wii Fit regimen is progressing well. The Wii Fit judges results by weight and Body Mass Index, and I’ve lost about a pound so far. The problem is, weight loss isn’t really my goal. I really just want to be less lazy and tone the flabcake that covers my torso. The good part is that Wii Fit’s exercises are actually challenging, and as one gets better, it increases the suggested number of reps per exercise. For example, when starting out, you’re given six pushup/plank reps; I’ve progressed to 15. I’m not expecting miracles out of this experiment, but another twenty days could actually have some visible positive results.

Lastly, today I finally cashed in a gift certificate for a massage that my ladyfriend gave me for my birthday … last year. While I felt like a dummy for not doing it sooner - especially considering how good it felt - in a somewhat ironic turn of events now was probably a good time to do it. When we win the lottery we shall have massages every week.

Some clarification/self-defense

Many of you know me well enough to know that I don’t like babies or toddlers or children. Over the years this has been misconstrued as “Garrett Hates Babies”. In fact I may have said that to some people, partly in jest. This post is meant to clarify my feelings towards tiny humans.

First, hate is such a strong word, and I can assure you I do not hate babies. I hate Steven Harper; I hate Gordon Campbell; I hate people who litter; I hate organized religion; I hate people who abuse animals. Babies are not that far down on my list. Babies/toddlers are firmly entrenched in my “not my cup of tea” zone.

Tiny newborn babies are fine: they sleep a lot, which I fully condone, and it’s interesting to watch them learn to use their senses of sight, hearing, and touch. Usually they cry because they’re tired or hungry, which have easy solutions. I just don’t want to hold or pick up babies. Plus they poop and pee without warning. Not my cup of tea.

Once a new person learns to walk, I want almost nothing to do with him or her. This is when babies realize they want to communicate but have no good way to do it. It’s the crying or whining that will make me disappear as though David Copperfield were using me in a magic trick. I have no tolerance for people that can’t communicate what they want. Is that cruel? Well, so be it. Again, at this point I do not want to hold or pick up or be left to look after a baby. Not my cup of tea. Not even close. And the pooping/peeing thing is still in play.

From ages two to, let’s say, four, I’ll tolerate toddlers as long as they leave me alone. I generally don’t want to play and the not-talking-properly thing still frustrates me. This is also when the whining and tantrums hit full steam, and it’s also when “My Amazing Baby Syndrome” fully blossoms in parents. I’m not amazed when babies pick up mannerisms or motor skills, and I don’t share the view that your baby is gifted. If your toddler does my taxes, that is amazing. Like before, good luck finding me in the vicinity of this age of child.

Because of my aversion to all of the above, I’ve taken steps to ensure I should never make children of my own. Babies are just not for me, and as I’m nearly 31 and have never felt differently, it’s clear I’ve made the right decision for me. I’m lucky my wife feels the same way.

However, my friends and family are at the ages where babies are being made. And my personal feelings for babies have been misinterpreted as hating their babies. This is not the case; I’m genuinely excited when people I care about decide to create babies. If it’s what they want, and they’re ready for it, how can I not be happy? In fact I’m proud of them for being able to care for and bring up a child, something I will never do. They clearly have a higher tolerance and a less crusty, hardened heart than me. So to friends who are have made babies or are going to deliver one in the near future, I’m honestly happy for you and I wish you all the best. It’s an exciting moment and I’m sure your lives will be filled with joy and pride.

Just don’t ask me to baby-sit.

The Great Wii Fit Unemployment Challenge

Now that I find myself with ample amounts of spare time, instead of writing a bestselling novel or volunteering to help the homeless, I’ve decided to dedicate 20-30 minutes a night to using the Wii Fit. I’ve borrowed the Wii Fit device and “game” from my cousin, and will use it over the course of four weeks to determine if it can actually improve my physical appearance and/or make me feel more “fit”.

I use quotations around the word game as Wii Fit is not a game. It’s an interactive workout guide, kind of like an electronic Richard Simmons VHS tape (minus the oily thighs and annoyingly motivating voice). Nintendo is selling the Wii Fit like hotcakes smothered in chipotle ranch sauce: it has sold over 8.7 million units worldwide since its release, including 4.5 million in the US alone last year. I’ll do some math for you - that’s more than eight units sold per minute. Anyhow, back to my original point, and that is that Wii Fit is the worst game ever made. It’s not fun! It’s a workout! Nintendo’s thrown in some little mini-games, which are all half-assed, boring, and cloying to an extreme. These additions are like a sort of cop-out, and have corporate/executive feedback written all over them.

However, after only a few days of using Wii Fit, it is quite a decent exercise device. It includes some legitimate yoga poses, some sit-ups, push-ups, lunges, squats, and other exercisey activities, which I can certainly feel affecting my svelte couch potato physique, most notably in my back and ass zones. I’m having my ladyfriend take “before” photos of me, and at the end of my four-week experiment we’ll take some “after” photos to compare. If there’s noticeable results, I shall post both sets of photos. If there’s no visible changes, I’ll spare my readers from having to see photos of my shirtless thorax.

How It’s Going

It’s usually a question that’s asked out of general courtesy, but given the events of the last couple of weeks, being asked “how’s it going?” is a bit different for me.

In short, it’s not going great. Most days I’m alright, although I’ve really only excelled at procrastinating at everything. About once every three or four days I experience a mixture of frustration, anxiousness, and depression with a little sprinkle of anger. On such days I’m usually irritable and think about what the hell I’m going to do with myself.

To explain further, I’ll touch on a few things that lead to the above. First: I didn’t want to lose my job. That probably goes without saying, but working at Propaganda was the best job I’ve had so far. I was in a lead position, which had a lot of responsibility and pride on the line. It was also a job I planned to stay at for at least 3-4 years, perhaps more. Sure, I would have some days where I came home with something to grumble about, but all jobs are like that. Second: 2009 was going to be a year that big things happened. I’d had my heart set on a trip to Montreal in the late summer, and the years of being a Scrooge were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; as home prices continued to go down the shitter, we were in good position to buy toward the end of this year. Now those dreams aren’t exactly canceled, but they’re once again on hold indefinitely. It is very frustrating to be “getting ahead” only to have the floor drop out from underneath me. Third (and relatedly): if unemployment stretches on for three, four months, those savings I have will start to dwindle. So a four month setback is actually much more in terms of saving, as there will be more money going out than coming in. Fourth, and finally: all I’ve worked in is a very specialized field. Yes, there are related jobs out there, in advertising and design firms, but almost all my knowledge is in gaming. This has been an exciting, and until recently, a somewhat stable industry. Now, as game companies have all come down with a sense of the heebie-jeebies and feel the need to fire hundreds of people, I have to wonder what future the game industry has - especially in BC.

Now that it’s been about two and a half weeks since getting my walking papers, it’s starting to set in that I might not have a job for at least another month. It’s a hard thing to accept.

Some have suggested to look for work elsewhere, and I think that’s a likely course of action. I’ll be applying for work in Victoria, in the slim chance that something comes up there. As for further away - gaming companies in Montreal are thriving right now, but long term I wonder how stable that is - I’m not sure. I love BC, despite its retarded politics and stupidly high cost of living. But who knows, maybe moving East is something we’ll have to explore if things here don’t pick up.

I should point out that, despite the tone of this entry, I’m feeling less and less down about my situation. Things could be worse - a lot worse - and we won’t be required to eat Kraft Dinner twice daily anytime soon. If anything we’ll just be cutting back on things that were “luxuries”, like going out to dinner once a week, driving less, and canceling that subscription to Gold-Plated Paperweights Monthly.

A few more notes on Mexico

Here are a few last thoughts on our trip to the Mayan Riviera. I’ve also posted about forty photos on Flickr, and I promise there’s more than just photos of strangers’ butts.

- I don’t think Mexico has a bottle-return deposit program. The whole freeway down the coast of Quintana Roo (where we were) was littered with enough empty pop and water bottles, that if they were returned, could probably buy a yacht.

- If we ever go back to the Mayan Riveria, I don’t know if we’ll do a whole week of all-inclusiveness. We had more fun exploring, and an ideal way to go would be to spend a couple of days in each place: Cancun, Playa Del Carmen, Cozumel, Tulum, and perhaps Isla Mujeres too. Booze and food is so cheap there, that the cost of staying in normal hotels and buying our own eats and drinks would likely cost about the same as an all-inclusive trip.

- We all like to make jokes about Mexicans, and it’s true that things operate a lot more loosely and slowly than what we’re used to. There’s no scheduled buses - things just run as they’re needed - and construction certainly does not move at the breakneck pace it does in Vancouver. But they certainly know how to “do” tourism, unlike here. It’s also important to remember that Mexico makes a lot of automobiles and even consumer electronics, which are skilled labour. Mexicans deserve a bit more credit.

- I mentioned this in the honeymoon recap, but I love the cars in Mexico. With the exception of the rental cars for rich whiteys, they’re all small. They’re the type of vehicles our country, and the US, need to drive. Our culture is so obsessed with horsepower and 0-60 acceleration, and why? So we can get to the next red light faster? Mexico even has brand-new crucks, which are scientifically proven to be the most awesome automobiles ever. In particular, and seen below, is the Chevy Tornado, a 1.8L cruck that gets 30mpg. Why these aren’t available here is beyond me.

TWIG Notes XVI - Huevos Rancheros Edition

A couple of days ago the ladyfriend and I returned from the Mayan Riviera. I went into ridiculous detail on our first trip there, for our honeymoon, so this time I’ll bring you the abbreviated This Week In Garrett style of recap.

- Arriving in a sunny climate is far less exciting when you’ve been awake for 26 hours. It took until Sunday, our first full day, to actually feel like we were on vacation. Saturday was spent in a zombie-like stupor.

- The weather along the Caribbean coastline was cooler than usual. The temperature didn’t go above 30 during our visit, and the nights were actually a bit on the nipply side when the wind was blowing. This isn’t a complaint; the fact I didn’t break a sweat for the whole vacation was actually a welcome surprise.

- We spent more time away from the resort compared to our first visit. Day two was a trip to Cozumel, where we rented a clunky but charming old VW Beetle convertible, which we used to drive around the entire island. Halfway around, we stopped at a tiny beach bar on the southernmost tip of the island. The eastern coast (facing the expanse of the Caribbean) is a nonstop stretch of crashing blue waves against beaches. Not suitable for swimming but fun to watch. Cozumel probably needs two days to enjoy; unfortunately we only had about 8 hours.

- The choppy oceans (every beach had a red warning flag) meant no snorkeling. We overheard a couple talking about paying for a snorkel trip on Cozumel, which is something we were considering, but their story involved being dropped off next to a cruise ship as a snorkeling spot. I’m glad we didn’t book anything like that ahead of time, as the waves were not agreeable anyway.

- We revisited Xel-Ha on this trip, which was just as much fun as the first time. As an added bonus, using an underwater pouch, we took some very good videos of some schools of tropical fish. Unfortunately I didn’t have the camera with me when I swam next to three giant stingrays and a barracuda. You’ll just have to take my word for it that it was awesome.

- I know it’s the way things operate in a part of Mexico that is created for and by tourism, but by our second visit to Playa Del Carmen, we were both tired of people trying to sell us stuff. Everyone had something to sell, whether it was trinkets or cigars or tequila or photos with a monkey or beer on the beach. Once someone gets you to listen to them, if you say no, the seller acts as though you told them their dog just died. They sure know how to instill a feeling of guilt for not buying their junk.

- We discovered the magic of colectivos, which are basically vans that carry ten people to and from pretty much anywhere along the freeway that runs from Cancun to Tulum. The price is about one-fifth of a taxi but is just as fast. If anyone’s planning a visit to the area, don’t bother with cabs.

- The ladywife and I probably went overboard taking photos or videos of attractive strangers on the beach. But hey, we’re on vacation, and we aren’t the most good looking people. Photos of hot guys and girls are more entertaining than the pasty white muffin tops we’re sporting.

- I barely got a tan. It seems I either burn or stay pale. This time, I stayed pale.

- We spent the last day drunk, and in fact passed out as soon as the sun went down. Countless pina coladas, electric lemonades, and shots of tequila while spending the day in the sun will do this.

So there you go! Videos are already on Flickr, and photos will be posted in the next couple of days.