Beard-B-Gone
Ten days after starting down the path of most excellent facial hair growth, I am no longer bearded. I had only planned on keeping it until roughly day fourteen or so, so the early bald-face isn’t really a tremendous loss. Besides, the point of growing a beard is simply that; to grow it. Mission accomplished. It was the first time in about nine years that I’d stopped shaving for more than a couple of days, and it may be a long time before I ever try it again (my ladyfriend declared, the day before I removed it, ‘I hate your beard’. That pretty much sealed its fate).
Beard growing generally goes through the following phases, and judging by the poor facial hair growing skills of my friends, I’m comparatively blessed with the ability to sprout a hairy chin.
Day zero: the last day of shaving
Days one through two-and-a-half: generally classified as the ’sexy stubble’ look
Days two-and-three-fifths through six: amber alert!
Days six through ten: the rubicon of beardedness; either you keep going or you turn back
Days ten through twenty: can blend in with indie band members or recluse writers
Days twenty and onward: the ‘just crawled out of my yurt’ look
6 Responses to “Beard-B-Gone”
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wizened old soul on February 18th, 2010
Hope your hirsute look, however temporary, was recorded pictorially for the historical archives (I wanna see evidence!!!)
Erwin on February 18th, 2010
Garrett, you can always depend on me to be your beard.
ian on February 18th, 2010
for me it goes: Day 1 - kinda dirty looking face. Day 2:Until I shave it - pedophile.
Special Ladyfriend on February 18th, 2010
I agree with your beard-growing success. I’ve mentioned a few times you can grow yourself a mighty fine-looking scruff. The only thing I hated was the sickening feeling that, with the lights turned off, I could just as easily have been tricked into making out with Fred Penner.
wizened old soul on February 19th, 2010
You just made my day, S.L. F.!!
Cameron on February 23rd, 2010
I’m laughing at “yurt”. Brilliant.